Monday, 3 April 2017

MIND OF A CROOKED TEENAGER



My crooked mind some time wonders into unfamiliar territory of worrying so much about issues I cannot control. Some time, they overwhelm me, leaving me very exhausted . Can you imagine that ,I worry so much about dying !, I don’t want to die , but I have a premonition that , my days are not very far.

First am told , that death is inevitable , you have no control over it , it will come  when it wants. The kings , presidents and the very rich in the society do die, then why worry about it. I need to explain where this worry comes from. I had  this aunt of mine , who was very good to me. She used to live with us for quite some time . Indeed, since I was born , I have always been with her . she used to bath me , feed me  , and tell me good stories  about the toad and the hyenas. We could go shopping with her , and generally she was very protective of  us. My parents have always been busy with the business in town , hence our aunt has always been there for us.

I will never forget that, Monday evening , two years age. The weekend had been very interesting. My parents had gone away for the weekend, they told us they would be travelling to Nairobi  for a business trip but , our aunt would take us for an outing in a local restaurant for lunch on Saturday. Saturday came and it went well. Our aunt, after the outing brought us back to the house, in the evening she  prepared dinner for us , and thereafter we went to bed. Sunday , came , my sister  , me and our aunt , we went to church  , in the neighborhood. After church we came back home , for lunch  and later in the evening dinner was served. My parents had been delayed  in Nairobi , but they promised they would come by the following Tuesday. On Monday , it was a school day, our aunt woke us early in the morning to prepare for school. After the  breakfast, our aunt bid us  goodbye  , as we boarded the van which takes us to school.

In the evening , we boarded our usual van  to take us back home , after  a busy day in school. We reached our house, the gate was locked as usual, so I rung the gate bell  for quite some time  , but there was no respond. Our aunt , was nowhere to be seen, usually , every school day, in the evening , we always find our aunt waiting for us at the gate. Anyway so far , there was no panic , since in the past, sometime , our aunt had delayed in opening the gate. After  around  10 minutes of waiting , I decided to jump over our fence , as it was not very high.  The front door was locked as usual , so I went to try the back door, this is the kitchen door.  It was open , I entered , my aunt was not in the kitchen , but  she was sleeping on the sofa in the sitting room. At first , I thought she was sleeping , so I called her , there was no response. I went near her , with an intention to shake her awake. Her body was very cold, I panicked , I called her again , nothing  happened.  I shook her violently , hoping that she would respond , still nothing happened, this is when , I sensed that , this was not good . I run outside the house  , opened  the gate , without saying anything to my small sister at the gate, run to our immediate neighbor. He was a good man , who was always nice to us. We used to call him baba Stacy.  After telling him what I saw, we came together rushing to the house. After  , baba stacy brief review on our aunt, he called  the hospital at once . The ambulance arrived within 5 minutes. This is when , it dawned on me , maybe our aunt might be died. Indeed, the medics  confirmed to us , that our aunt had died some time earlier as her body was already cold.
This was my first encounter with the cruel hand of death. I kept wondering, how could my aunt die just like that, dying like a chicken!!!! She was never sick or complained of any illness. Could someone just die like that, without getting sick.
From that time , I came to know that , death is just on our finger nails , anybody can die at any time and age.

From that day, I HAVE BEEN A WORRIED BOY , wondering when this death could come for me,  and yet am not ready for it. 

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