Monday, 3 April 2017

MIND OF A CROOKED TEENAGER

I lack self confidence; hence, I have lost some things which were supposed to be mine, by the virtue of going to get them.
In my few years of living , I found out that , not all things are brought to us, . It calls for us to sometime go get them.
Getting good friends , you must go get them. There is no way , you can befriend some one , when you can not go out to get them. You must seek their friendship – this can be both boys and girls.
Some things , calls you to go fight for them. For example, if you want to get the first team place in your soccer team, you must attend practices and fight so hard to be picked by the coach. Likewise , for you to pass your maths paper ,you must practice diligently otherwise , you will fail the exams.
Fight  to conquer
Ask to get



Talk later.

MIND OF A CROOKED TEENAGER

The crooked mind of a teenager is a troubled  mind indeed. it oscillate between the reality and the world of utopia. I  practice the Christian faith. Here we are told that , there will be  the judgement day , where the sinners will go to hell , while the  believers/ those who are pure will go to heaven.
We are also told that, god protects us  from evil and calamities. As He protects us , we are not supposed to suffer as we are under his protection.
But , this has not been the truth, as the suffering on this earth is just too much. Just look at some of the major conflicts which are happening in different parts of the world. Look at the inter tribal wars in south  sudan , Libya , Iraq , Syria ,Afghanistan ,Congo etc. if  really , god was the all protector , what happened , he seems not to notice , what is happening in these countries.

I know , am not supposed to question God, and religion for that matter , but with this world conflicts , the crooked mind wonders so much. Anybody there to clear my troubled mind.


Talk later

MIND OF A CROOKED TEENAGER



My crooked mind some time wonders into unfamiliar territory of worrying so much about issues I cannot control. Some time, they overwhelm me, leaving me very exhausted . Can you imagine that ,I worry so much about dying !, I don’t want to die , but I have a premonition that , my days are not very far.

First am told , that death is inevitable , you have no control over it , it will come  when it wants. The kings , presidents and the very rich in the society do die, then why worry about it. I need to explain where this worry comes from. I had  this aunt of mine , who was very good to me. She used to live with us for quite some time . Indeed, since I was born , I have always been with her . she used to bath me , feed me  , and tell me good stories  about the toad and the hyenas. We could go shopping with her , and generally she was very protective of  us. My parents have always been busy with the business in town , hence our aunt has always been there for us.

I will never forget that, Monday evening , two years age. The weekend had been very interesting. My parents had gone away for the weekend, they told us they would be travelling to Nairobi  for a business trip but , our aunt would take us for an outing in a local restaurant for lunch on Saturday. Saturday came and it went well. Our aunt, after the outing brought us back to the house, in the evening she  prepared dinner for us , and thereafter we went to bed. Sunday , came , my sister  , me and our aunt , we went to church  , in the neighborhood. After church we came back home , for lunch  and later in the evening dinner was served. My parents had been delayed  in Nairobi , but they promised they would come by the following Tuesday. On Monday , it was a school day, our aunt woke us early in the morning to prepare for school. After the  breakfast, our aunt bid us  goodbye  , as we boarded the van which takes us to school.

In the evening , we boarded our usual van  to take us back home , after  a busy day in school. We reached our house, the gate was locked as usual, so I rung the gate bell  for quite some time  , but there was no respond. Our aunt , was nowhere to be seen, usually , every school day, in the evening , we always find our aunt waiting for us at the gate. Anyway so far , there was no panic , since in the past, sometime , our aunt had delayed in opening the gate. After  around  10 minutes of waiting , I decided to jump over our fence , as it was not very high.  The front door was locked as usual , so I went to try the back door, this is the kitchen door.  It was open , I entered , my aunt was not in the kitchen , but  she was sleeping on the sofa in the sitting room. At first , I thought she was sleeping , so I called her , there was no response. I went near her , with an intention to shake her awake. Her body was very cold, I panicked , I called her again , nothing  happened.  I shook her violently , hoping that she would respond , still nothing happened, this is when , I sensed that , this was not good . I run outside the house  , opened  the gate , without saying anything to my small sister at the gate, run to our immediate neighbor. He was a good man , who was always nice to us. We used to call him baba Stacy.  After telling him what I saw, we came together rushing to the house. After  , baba stacy brief review on our aunt, he called  the hospital at once . The ambulance arrived within 5 minutes. This is when , it dawned on me , maybe our aunt might be died. Indeed, the medics  confirmed to us , that our aunt had died some time earlier as her body was already cold.
This was my first encounter with the cruel hand of death. I kept wondering, how could my aunt die just like that, dying like a chicken!!!! She was never sick or complained of any illness. Could someone just die like that, without getting sick.
From that time , I came to know that , death is just on our finger nails , anybody can die at any time and age.

From that day, I HAVE BEEN A WORRIED BOY , wondering when this death could come for me,  and yet am not ready for it. 

MIND OF A CROOKED TEENAGER

Hi guys , it’s the beginning of yet another holiday, thank god , it’s the end of term two, 2017 , can you imagine! , days are flying by, but not so fast, I want to be an adult , where I will have my independence. How I long for the day I will have my own money , house  and just freedom to do what I want. It’s coming , I believe very soon, but remember, am only 15.

The holidays , what am I to do?, I have a whole day to myself, today is Sunday the 3rd of April . we closed school on Friday the 1st of April. Was really looking forward to this holiday, now that it is within me , I don’t know what to do with it. But I must have a plan on how am going to spend the days , but  first , I will ask my parents tomorrow , Monday , if they have any plan for me, thereafter I can then , have a clear cut plan for the holiday.

But first things first, could we review the school term as it was. My term in school , that is Melvin Jones Lions Academy , was really very interesting. My academy life  was very challenging , I really dropped in my performance. Before I used to be top 20 in class, but for the last two terms in grade 9 , was not good. In first term I was position  24, while in the second term I become position 26. What really went wrong , am not sure , but I can guess. First , I got crazy friends to start with. There is this companion friend of mine, who is never keen on studies, he loves using computers and play stations, he introduced me into this habit , and I guess am hooked. Most of the weekends , we are either together at their house or mine busy playing computer games. In school , I have been distracted so much by the girls. I really don’t get enough of them. The bottom line is that the adolescent crisis is really on me. HELP , is needed here. were it not for sports in school , I guess I could have run away from these boring studies. 

In my social life , I have not also performed well. I have been more of a follower than a leader. I have a number of friends , who have been keen to mislead me into temptations. The temptations ranges from the girls , to drug using and generally being mischievous. My class know me , as a naughty person , as I get involved with bad boys of our class. Anyway , we have a very strict class teacher , and I guess , this has helped us to shape up. I have been chasing this good looking girl , but am yet to be lucky. Other hyena boys seem to catch her eye more than me, I will keep trying maybe come next term , I may be good to go. In sports , I was lucky to join the school soccer team, I will try to keep the first team place by practicing very hard.

My intention , is to be sober  and on top of my game. I want to be  a master of my own destiny. I do not want  to be a follower but a leader in my own rights. Am told that , this is the best time to plan about my future, I intend to do so. Regardless of the distracters amongst us ,I will strive to follow a straight path, lay down my plan and follow it. i want to develop a strong personality.

Talk later


Zeki

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